Friday, October 24, 2008

Stupid things happen all the time in Hollywood. Which one of these really happened?

1 - Any agent would give his assistant's eye-teeth to have an A-list star on the roster. Ten percent of someone like Brad Pitt or Cameron Diaz can buy a lot of cocaine AND pay for rehab at Promises. And when you've got two! Hello Hedonism. But periodically two A-lister's needs conflict, the agent is stuck in the middle and the assistant is left holding the bag.

A few months ago, a major Hollywood agent was in the throes of tense and urgent negotiations for one client while the other client was walking the red carpet for his $100 million flick. One glance at his Rolex and the agent realized he had 20 minutes to get from Century City to Grauman's during rush hour. The agent screams his assistant. "You're supposed to keep me on time!" Never mind that his assistant is under strict orders to NEVER EVER interrupt during a negotiation (that's how the previous assistant got fired). "Listen, just get me there. You know what. Call me a police escort." Did it work? Let's just say the agent found a new assistant.

2 - Lots of things kill brain cells. Drinking and drugs do, or so I'm told. But who knew working as a Network Executive would too? Recently, a certain exec was in search of a program to replace her network's long-running and highly-successful drama. Luckily she had an idea of the type of show she was looking for. So she called up an EP/Showrunner she's worked with and started talking about her idea. "It's kind of like [show name redacted]. Did you ever watch that?" Not only had the EP seen that show, but he'd created it FOR HER NETWORK. Whoops!

3 - Hollywood executives like everything to look perfect. Hair has gotta be perfect. Clothes have to be perfect. Even the lawn has to look perfect. On the day of a big party at this executive's house, the regular lawn crew ran into some problems with INS and was unable to tend to the executive's shaggy shrubbery and overgrown lawn. So the exec did the only thing she knew how, call her assistant. "I need a lawn crew pronto!" the exec exclaimed. The assistant was on the case. But 25 phone calls yielded no availability from any lawn crew. The assistant called back and broke the news to the exec. The exec was none too pleased. "I asked you to do one thing and you couldn't do it. If you like you're job, you'll find a way to make it happen." Less than an hour later the assistant was out there mowing the lawn himself.

So which of the above really happened? How did everyone vote? [Spoiler Alert]

  1. Two clients one cup (I mean agent) -- 15%
  2. Can you make me a show like the one you already did? -- 47%
  3. How'd you like to mow my lawn? -- 38%
And the correct answer is #2. Congrats to those who got it right.

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