Wednesday, October 31, 2012

A Halloween Tradition -- The Nikki Finke Mask

Snooki is already scary! Now there's a costume
[This probably looks a lot like the post from the last two years. That's because it is]

Halloween is today.  But if you haven't had time to figure out what to wear for your office costume contest, the Temp Diaries is here to help.

Welcome to my annual tradition that is the Nikki Finke mask.  The costume is brilliant in its simplicity.  The instructions and everything else you need are below.  Now go scare the shit out of your co-workers with this ghoulish photo.  And then, to really freak them out, tell them it's Nikki Finke.  Just make sure you know CPR.

Happy Halloween!!


Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor hurricane stops a Hollywood producer from being a jerk

I've been through a major hurricane before.  And I can assure you it's no fun.  I can also tell you that during the storm and its immediate aftermath you think about your family and friends.  You think about how you can help neighbors or perfect strangers, just because it's the right thing to do.  You think about all these things...unless you're a Hollywood asswipe.  Then all you do is think about yourself.

A friend of mine alerted me to the following posting from an industry message board.  It appears that a certain producer in New York City was mightily inconvenienced by Hurricane Sandy.  Pay no attention to the thousands displaced, the fires, the floods or the needs of the injured.  Hollywood rests for no one.  
Subject: NYC / Greenwich Village - Any Places With Internet and Power?

Anyone in New York City know if there are any places with internet and power near Greenwich Village? Any hotels maybe? Production offices? Libraries? I have a Producer in NYC who needs a place to download some footage but their power and internet will be out for the next few days.
Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that this producer's assistant is getting the reaming of a lifetime for not being able to fix the weather?

Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Brown List on Howard Stern

I'm the least important person in Hollywood. There's no doubt about that. I can't even get a deal while networks are looking for shows about the least important people in Hollywood. Try to beat that. But one thing I can say, is after 4 1/2 years and nearly 900 posts, I got at least one of my wishes granted. They talked about me on Howard Stern.

I've been a Stern fan for many years. I've experienced the drama with Jackie the Jokeman, Howard's divorce, Artie's many meltdowns and countless screw ups courtesy of Bababooey. Now, when the archives of the King of all Media are compiled, I can at least say I have a small part in them. So what if he doesn't quite get why Scott DePace made the list. Neither do I.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The 2012 Brown List

The day you hoped for/feared is here.  The 2012 Brown List is complete.  A few interesting stats:
  • Total nominations topped out at just over 8,300.
  • The winner of the Most-Liked executive won with 1,255 nominations.
  • The "winner" of the Least-Liked executive garnered 1,185 nominations.
I will not spoil any more surprises.  So now, please enjoy the Brown List.  And if you hear any weeping noises, bring your boss a box of tissues. It's pretty clear he/she might need them.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Vote for "The Grey Area"

I don't ask for much from my fans.  I simply ask that they read the site and tell their friends.  Well, now I need a big favor from you.  The good news is it doesn't cost any money and it's not even for my benefit.

You see, my friend's documentary THE GREY AREA (about issues women face in an Iowa prison) could win an L.A. premiere at the Hollywood ArcLight if you vote for it on Facebook and "Like" it on YouTube.   But do it quickly as voting ends this Sunday, October 14.

Here's all you need to do...
  1. Go to this link: 
  2. Scroll down the list to find THE GREY AREA trailer (in the “Social Issues Documentaries” category) 
  3. VOTE!
  4. Then give us the THUMBS UP on YouTube:
And while you're at it, check out the website for even more info.  But most importantly, vote. 


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Thank You

The headline I'd always hoped I'd see is finally here.  Let's mark the day, October 10, 2012.  Actually there have been two headlines I've always wanted to see, but when Mark Felt came out as Deep Throat, I was down to one.  And here it is...

Yep.  A blog about being a miserable underling in Hollywood sold to CBS, "America's Most Watched Network."™ The only problem is that it's not my blog.  

Yep.  Bummer.

Rather than launch into a booze-fueled pity party, I've decided to take a different approach.  Maybe it's the whiskey talking, but I'd like to thank all of you for your thoughts today.  People I've never met and will probably never meet took the time to send notes on Facebook and Twitter just saying they support me and wish me the best.  

Hollywood is a rough town and typically nobody gives a shit about anyone but themselves (or what's left of the surgically-augmented version of themselves).  But for just a fleeting moment, it seemed that I've found a group of people who are honest and caring.  So while it appears Fred Savage will never produce anything I write, at least I have that.

And now, back to drinking.


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Brian Grazer doesn't want you

No porcupines need apply
I haven't been posting much recently for a few reasons which I choose not to explain.  Although I will say that it's at least in part due to the fact that I am now driving more than 400 miles a week...just to get to and from work.  The plus side is it means that my postings now are ever so much more special.  Right?  (Please hold, I need to got get a beer.)

Ahhh.  That's better.  If you haven't tried the Sierra Nevada Torpedo IPA (on sale at Rite Aid for $12.99 per 12 pack), I highly recommend it for its combination of flavor and 7.2% alcohol by volume.  But that's besides the point.

Earlier today I posted an position as I often do on Facebook an Twitter for 2nd Assistant position working for uber-producer (and stunt double for the guy in the Axe Hair Gel commercial) Brian Grazer.  Now, how I came across this posting, I shan't tell.  But apparently I set off a shitstorm at Imagine Entertainment as I soon received this email.

Hi my name is [NAME REDACTED] from IMAGINE Entertainment and hiring managers would like to request that you remove the posting regarding the Brian Grazer 2nd assistant position. 

This was meant for a small audience and we are now being flooded with emails....We understand that you simply posted this info because it was given to you and we do not hold you accountable. Would you be able to give us the name of the individual that sent this to you?

You cooperation is much appreciated.


IMAGINE Entertainment 

Suffice it to say I was a little bit surprised that anyone would care that much to contact me because people were actually applying for a job they're attempting to fill.  But what really bothered me is when the person who wrote me (who no doubt was doing it under strict orders from his/her employer, including the wording) asked for the name of the person who sent me the job posting.  Is this going to turn into a witch hunt?  Are you planning on Black Listing this person?  Or are you just going to torture them by making them watch the Grazer-produced 1998 remake of Psycho on an endless loop.

So to answer your question.  No.  I'm not ratting anyone out.  But don't go away mad, just go away.


Word around the Interweb travels fast.  While I was busy being passed out on the couch, I received an email from a senior exec at Imagine who explained the whole thing was a misunderstanding.  The person writes as follows.  It's up to you whether you believe it.

Hi there - Yes the GrazerBuck stops with me, but that's not at all what I asked.  My exact language was to say "Thank you for posting. We have a ton of resumes and some really good possibilities.  Would you please take down the post?"     On behalf of IMAGINE, my apologies.
 Imagine that.  An apology in Hollywood.