Wait. First I need to get a beer. Back in a second...
When I was younger, I used to think Rolling Rock was a good, cheap beer. Now it's just a cheap beer. Well, anyway, it's Day 2 of the Upfronts. For the Hourly Caste of Hollywood this means finding 8 hours of websites to look at. I've been told Scrabulous is a big hit, but I prefer to continually hit refresh on my email inbox hoping against hope that someone has decided that to buy (or at least option) the rights to the Hollywood Temp Diaries. Until that happens, you'll be stuck reading this and I'll be stuck drinking Rolling Rock.
Enough with the preamble. Let's take a look at some of the shows we can look forward to this fall.
LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON (NBC) -- Temp X doesn't care because he never stays up past 9:30 p.m. except when Lost is on. That said, if he were to stay up that late and had a choice of watching Jimmy Fallon or that wacky religious guy who uses numerology to explain the Bible, chances are he'd watch and laugh harder at the Bible dude. FATE: Craig Ferguson's ratings will double. The rest of America will sleep. But that won't stop NBC.
BEVERLY HILLS 90210 (CW) -- Yep. The most famous ZIP code in America is back. When this Tori Spelling vehicle debuted in 1990, it was a much simpler time. There was no war in Iraq, George Bush wasn't President and...oh wait...not only am I wrong, but I'm plagiarizing my own material. I suppose that's appropriate for this point. FATE: Because of email, ZIP codes are not really necessary any more. The same can be said for this show.
OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS (ABC) -- Ashton Kutcher is at it again. He's come up with a game show that already exists, given it a new name and sold it to ABC. Perhaps it's fitting that the show it's based on is called Amne$ia (which was based on a bit Howard Stern did for years, which was based on The Newlywed Game). FATE: 3 episodes. No one watching ABC cares about Ashton Kutcher. Marketing 101: Know your audience.
SCRUBS (ABC) -- A show about the funny side of doctors treating cancer, cardiac failure and stroke. Oh, wait. This is the same show that was on NBC? The truth is the only reason ABC picked it up is because they also produce it and know they've got guaranteed money from syndicating it. It's like those pennies in your pocket. If you melt them down, the copper is worth more than 1 cent. The same holds true for Scrubs. FATE: I'll let you guess.
Well, that's it for now. Someone else is announcing tomorrow. I think it's FOX. Uh oh. Gotta pee.