Monday, May 5, 2008

How a Spec Becomes a Movie

(to the tune of that "School House Rock" thing)

Whew, there sure are a lot of temps and waiters here in Hollywood.
Well, I wonder what that sad little scraps of paper with two brass fasteners is?

I'm just a spec, yes, I'm only a spec.
And I'm sitting here on some intern's desk.
Well it's a long, long journey to the big silver screen.
It's a long, long wait until the weekend read.
But I know I'll be a movie some day,
At least I hope and pray I'm not drek.
But today I'm still just a spec.

Gee, Spec, you certainly have a lot of patience and courage.

Well, I got this far. When I started, I wasn't even a spec, I was just an idea. Some guy was smoking a joint one night and wrote down a logline. Then he called some friends and they said, "You know you're right. That would be a great movie. Now let's get some tacos." So he sat down with a case a Red Bull and wrote for 17 days straight, and then he ran spell check, and I became a spec. And I'll remain a spec until they make me into a movie.

I'm just a spec, yes I'm only a spec
And I just got off some intern's desk.
Well, now I'm stuck in an inbox and I'll sit and I'll wait
While an agent yells at an intern and threatens their fate
And asks them where their coverage is.
I hope CAA sees I'm not drek.
But today I am still just a spec.

Listen to those executives argue. Is all that discussion and debate about you?

Yeah, I'm one of the lucky ones because I was referred by a client. Most specs never even get this far. I hope they like me, otherwise I may die.


Yeah, die with all the other unsolicited specs! Ooh! But it looks like I'm gonna live. Now they're gonna take me out and shop me around.

If someone likes you, then what happens?

Then the agents begin their negotiation with the studio.

Oh, no!

Oh, yes!

I'm just a spec, yes I'm only a spec.
And I made it off the agent's desk.
Well, now I'm off to Business Affairs where I'll wait in a line.
With a lot of other specs for Mr. Murdoch to buy.
And if he pays for me I'll be come a film!
How I hope and pray I'm not drek.
But today I am still just a spec.

You mean even if the studio says you should be a movie, Mr. Murdoch can still say, "no"?

Yes, that's called a "51 percent ownership." If he doesn't like me, I have to go to Development where they tack on a predictable ending and offer to pay less for me, and by that time...

And by that time, it's very unlikely that you'll ever be made. It's not easy to become a movie, is it?


How I hope and pray I'm not drek.
But today I am still just a spec.

He bought you Spec, now you're gonna be a movie.

Oh, yes!

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