What are the five most traumatic experiences in your life?
Luckily I wasn't the applicant facing this question. But then I started to think about it. What would I say if I had been the one in the hot seat? I couldn't answer this honestly because the question is so awful and inappropriate that it doesn't deserve an honest answer. But I know I'd have fun with it. I'm thinking I'd answer like this:
- When the temp agency made me take a typing test on a QWERTY keyboard. I only know the Dvorak version.
- Watching the Shaquille O'Neal movie marathon they just aired on BET: Old Skool. Kazaam, Steel and Blue Chips make Freddy Got Fingered look like Kurosawa.
- When I came in last at the junior high science fair. Turns out creating a small-scale meth lab wasn't as impressive Michelle Potter's model of the Solar System.
- The time Uncle Rico stabbed Aunt Tina last Thanksgiving. Dinner was so awkward after that.
- When I farted in your office two minutes ago. I'm a little nervous.