Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Great Moments In Product Placement History -- The Biggest Loser

Technically it's method acting
NBC loves their product placements from Subway.  I think if it'd been up to Silverman, they would have just renamed the entire network Subway-NBC.  They have a portion of their website dedicated to those who like to "Eat Fresh"®.  And of course there's the much-mocked episode of Chuck that seemingly jumped from placement into full-on advertisement.

Never one to rest on their laurels, NBC has broken new boundaries yet again.  This time they've gone into the short-form Subway infomercial business and disguised it as one of their televised fat camps.

Below is a transcript from a portion of last night's The Biggest Loser when the team goes on a little field trip.  Enjoy and "Eat Fresh"®.

EXT. SUBWAY RESTAURANT
The five remaining contestants and their trainer Brett open the door to a Subway restaurant in a suburban LA strip mall.

HANNAH
Subway.

OLIVIA
Oooh.  I'm hungry.

EXT. CONFESSIONAL CAMERA

HANNAH
So it's always fun when we get to leave The Ranch.  And today we're going on a Subway field trip to learn about fresh food we can eat on the go that will still be within our calorie budget.

INT. SUBWAY RESTAURANT
The group huddles around the sandwich bar as a dutiful Subway employee begins assembling sandwiches.
BRETT
When it comes to nutrition, if you have to sacrifice flavor too much, you're not going to stay on it.  Here at Subway, you do not have to give up flavor to have great tasting food.  I want to talk about the Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki.  Alright.  Here's what's in it: 6-inch bread - whole wheat, a little more than a tablespoon of fat-free sweet onion dressing, about three ounces of chicken teriyaki - teriyaki sauce is on top, it's not just plain chicken.  So I hope you pay attention to what she's putting in it because again it's final exams week.  And you have a pop quiz right now!

ALL
Oh no!

Gift cards taste delicious
BRETT
How many calories are going to be in this sandwich?  Who ever guesses it correct or closest to it is going to win this $500 Subway gift card.

Extended pause for shot of gift card.

OLIVIA
Nice.  Very nice.

BRETT
We ready to rumble with the numbers?  
(Pause for enthusiastic response.  Not achieved.) 

HANNAH
Let's do it.

BRETT
Alright Hannah, whaddya got?

The 20th digit of Pi is 4...no...6
HANNAH
(Pensive, as if reconciling modern and classical physics)
I'm gonna say 380.

IRENE
320

AUSTIN
I'm gonna say 335.

OLIVIA
I say 250 calories.

JAY
I had one for 240

BRETT
240?

Jay nods.  Brett doesn't believe him.
 BRETT
And the winner of the $500 Subway gift card goes to...
(Pause for dramatic tension...not achieved)
Exactly 380 calories.

HANNAH
(faking excitement because she read it on the signage that litters the store)
I won something

Cheers from the crowd...

BRETT
Can you believe that?
(Awaiting group response of disbelief.  Not achieved.)
All that flavor and only four-and-a-half grams of fat and under 400 calories.

JAY
Wow.  That's great.

EXT. CONFESSIONAL CAMERA 
HANNAH
Boo-ya.  I remembered something. Thank God.  Maybe this wasn't a physical challenge, but I still won $500 to Subway, which I will definitely use when I go home.

EXT. SUBWAY RESTAURANT
The group is now eating.

OLIVIA
Oh my God, that's good.

JAY
(either ironically or with terrible acting)
I like the teriyaki sauce.

The group raises their 20 ounce beverage that better be Diet Coke.

ALL
Cheers!!

"Eat Fresh"®

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