|Just say no|
Seriously Lars, listen to me. It was a scant 320 days ago that Mel's voicemails to his baby mama, Oksana Grigorieva, leaked out to the press. He said all sorts of quirky things. And let's not forget his "Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world" rant. Look at Mel now. He's getting a standing ovation at Cannes for The Beaver.
See. You'll be back in the headlines -- the good kind -- before you know it. The one thing you need to remember about Hollywood is people here have a very short memory -- likely the result of extensive cocaine use or possibly general stupidity. Whatever the reason, you can say racist, homophobic, anti-Semitic or generally hateful things and within a few months, people will have forgotten completely. It worked for Mel and it'll work for you.
I know these are tough times. But it's gonna get better. I promise. And how much could the Cannes Film Festival really despise you if they still have your press conference on their website? You can even re-live the hilarity. It starts at 34:30.
Now turn that frown upside down.
Your Pal and an overall Good Jew,