Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Happy Birthday to the Hollywood Temp Diaries -- You're 1!

Technically, the Temp Diaries turned 1 on April 11. But I was too busy wondering what the hell happened to my life and fighting with my health insurance provider to notice. But let's take a moment to celebrate.

So much has transpired since that fateful day that some unnamed Hollywood exec walked into my office du jour and complained of irritable bowel syndrome that it's hard to keep track of it all. Knight Rider came and went. Speed Racer came and went. GE, Viacom, Time Warner and Disney lost a combined gazillion dollars in market capitalization. The national unemployment jumped from 5.5 percent to 8.5 percent (currently California unemployment is 11.2 percent). Ah, Bush administration nostalgia. In good news, during those same 365 days, Valerie Bertinelli lost a bunch of weight, whitened her teeth and bought a cute bikini.

So take out your kazoo, party hats and streamers and celebrate the key numbers in the year that was for the Hollywood Temp Diaries.

253 Total postings
252 Times I thought "Writing a blog is a real pain in the ass."
10 Amount (in dollars) I paid to register
30 Amount (in dollars) I paid to sponsor the Temp Diaries Beer Pong team
0 Games my Beer Pong Team won (love you guys anyway)
2 Postings with reference to the 1980's TV show Riptide
40 Times I've made fun of Ben Silverman
41 Times Ben Silverman deserved it
3 Dead people who wrote for my site (Plimpton, HST, Rice)
2 Times people who don't know I run this blog told me to check it out
18 Times I was too lazy to post (a.k.a. Copyright Infringement Theatre)
13 People who have unsubscribed from the UTA joblist
9 Number of times people in Pakistan have read my blog
9 Number of times people in Wyoming have read my blog
8 Number of naked pictures sent from obsessed fans (just kidding, it's zero)
4 Times I tried writing a writing entries under the influence
331 Days between my prediction of Hollywood's demise and the SAG deal.
1 Number of new Temp Pimps I registered with in the last year
0 Number of times that new Pimp called me
37 Terms defined in the Hollywood Dictionary
1 Terms in the Hollywood Dictionary that makes sense ("Producer")
$5,380.50 Year-to-Date Earnings (you know how much I made last year)
0 Number of job offers I've received in since starting this blog


Anonymous said...

after one year of temp'ing i totally fear for my future. thanks. i'm also not dedicated enough to write a blog about it so... maybe i'll write a spec pilot for a tv show.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on your one year anniversary! I really enjoy the blog and hope you make it big oneday! Keep up the great work and snarky commentary.

Anonymous said...


Please note that your blog is now 1 year older and thus less edgy than the newer breed of blogs that are constantly nipping at your heels.

dub said...

Great blog, great site...stumbled on this completely accidentally, but I completely feel your pain. As it happens I'll be graduating from Emerson next month. Also UT- Austin, great school but not my first choice. I went to UVM, and then got sucked into Emerson. Keep it up, us all some semblance of hope.

F. said...

U may not be Nikki my Temp friend but ur info and humor are as pertinent in their own way. Been where U have been - and hope to God never to be again, and appreciate that U call it like it really is. Now go get some product placement, damnit!

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