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I was watching TV (duh!) and noticed there's no shortage of news on how to keep from getting laid off. But amidst all these nonsensical terms like "recession-proof jobs" and "make yourself indispensable," I noticed the lack of stories aimed at the jobless and what to do now that you have nothing to do. That's where I come in.
May I offer some of the following ideas during this time of incredible inactivity and joblessness:
Use your computer for something other than checking out Facebook, Defamer, Deadline Hollywood or TMZ. For example, computers make excellent doorstops as well as drink coasters.
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Watch every one of the 800+ movies made in the 1990s. Then figure out which one to re-write. This will keep you one step ahead of the inevitable grunge era nostalgia/remake frenzy when it hits in about two years. [Note: It's ok to not watch 200 Cigarettes. That movie was awful.]
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Attempt to resolve Hollywood's ultimate Catch-22, "I can't get an acting job without an agent, but I can't get an agent unless I've booked an acting gig."
Do a little investigating and see if you're related to someone famous. That will likely accelerate your ability to secure a job. [Back-up option: Change your last name to Spielberg.]
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Review Forbes magazine's list of "recession-proof jobs." Attempt to figure out what any of them actually do (e.g., Business Analysis -- Research).
Figure out what day of the week it is.
3 comments:
you keep it real
I particularly loved Forbes' explanation for the trouble employers have in filling jobs for administrative assistants: "It's hard to find people who can live on less than $50,000 a year"
Apparently the folks at Forbes has never lived in Hollywood!
Honey, what you need to do is start arranging "mocktial hours." Pick a destination, everyone brings his or her libation of choice and have a grand ole time of it. I just think if all of the the unemployed people had a venue to sit and gripe, it would make things a little more tolerable.
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