Thursday, February 26, 2009

A Birthday Post-Mortem

So my birthday is over. What a jam-packed 24 hours! I was awoken at 6 a.m. by Dog X, wrote my blog entry, had a phone interview, ate too much Chinese food, took a nap, watched TV, drank beer and fell asleep. It's a lot like every other day, except for the job interview. That was a new twist.

As for my birthday presents, I figured you'd want to know what happened. The updates are in RED.

Megan Fox -- You're single. So am I. Wanna play Wii Tennis? [NO -- I'm still waiting and you're still single.]

President Obama -- Fix the economy by noon today. [NO -- Jobless claims are at a 26-year high.]

SAG -- Stop being morons and sign the deal. [NO -- SAG continues to be morons -- hires National Director linked to big-time fraud.]

NBC -- Confirm that tonight's episode of Knight Rider (dammit, just found out it moved to March 4) is the series finale, not just the season finale. Oh, and on the subject of NBC... [INCOMPLETE -- Will know more next week, assuming they don't delay the episode again.]

Jay Leno -- Go away. You promised. And take Silverman with you. [NO -- But the WGA is considering kicking Leno out of the union for violating strike rules. Silverman greenlights Seinfeld new reality show, "Dr. Phil with yuks" ]

[Development Executive name redacted] -- Get to work at a reasonable time and get over yourself. [NO -- Took two-hour lunch yesterday.]

My Pimps -- Call me with a job. And for once, make it a long-term assignment. [NO -- Never called.]

California EDD -- Re-start my unemployment that you randomly canceled. [INCOMPLETE -- It's a government agency. My expectations are very low. Check back in April.]

ABC -- Either stop the "Are you lost on Lost?" campaign or make the program easier to understand. Knowingly confusing your audience can't help ratings. [YES -- Didn't see the promos last night.]

WBTV -- Buy the show I pitched you. You know it's a good idea. So quit dragging your feet. Heck, it can't be any worse than the Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll. And you ran two seasons of that. [YES! -- Just kidding. No news yet. Today, I will cross my toes.]

"Sasha Fierce" (my 2002 Honda Civic ) -- Stop making that random squeaking. It's almost to the point where the radio can't drown out the noise. [SORT OF -- Squeaking goes away when I step on the break pedal.]

You -- Please continue to read my blog. Please tell your friends. Oh, and if you have any Stupid Interview Questions, pass them along. I'm running low. For Extra Credit: Get me a book deal. [KIND OF -- Viewership jumped 15% yesterday. Not bad. No book deal.]

And finally, thanks for all the birthday wishes and nice comments about the site. They are all much appreciated.

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