Tuesday, February 3, 2009

25 things you didn't care to know about Temp X

Bowing to intense peer pressure -- and because I had nothing else to write about today -- I will participate in the latest Internet fad: 25 things you didn't know about me. If you'd like to know even more about Temp X, you can always check out my responses to "Getting to Know Your Hollywood Friends." And if that isn't enough, there's always "10 Things I Love About Hollywood." If that isn't enough, I'm calling the police.

1. The worst thing I've read since moving here was a movie script about weightlifting. It read like music video. To those too young to know what a music video is, MTV used to play them.

2. I have trouble lying. This probably means I'll never make it in Hollywood. By the way, you look fabulous today. Have you lost weight?

3. I own at least six books about Richard Nixon. This is lucky because it helps me understand the mindset of the delusional, paranoid lunatics I temp for.

4. I think the following books are overrated: The Corrections, In Cold Blood, The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test and A Confederacy of Dunces. Because none of these books have been turned into movies, I will receive no ridicule in Hollywood for this.

5. I'm still angry at my Wii Fit because it told me I'm overweight. Considering previously-revealed photos that indicate my body type, I think Super Mario should stick to attacking gorillas.

6. I temped for one agent who either had the worst runny nose ever or did a bunch of coke during a trip to the bathroom.

7. Coming up with something to write about every day is a pain in the ass.

8. I often feel like a much less successful version of Cyrano de Bergerac.

9. I really like LOST, but most of the time I have no idea what's going on.

10. When I make enough money from selling the rights to the Hollywood Temp Diaries, I will take myself out for Mexican food and then buy an Aston Martin.

11. I have no idea why people find Beverly Hills a desirable location. If I'm shelling out $5 million for a house, there better be an ocean in my back yard.

12. I still think the word "twelve" sounds odd.

13. I sometimes forget the difference between a numismatist and a philatelist. Fortunately it doesn't come up into conversation all that often.

14. I would derive no greater joy than to have the ratings for the Oscars be lower than a Knight Rider rerun.

15. If I had a surface-to-air missile launcher, I'd blow every single news helicopter following Paris Hilton or a low-speed chase right out of the sky.

16. I love getting hate mail, although I'm confused by it. It's very odd that anyone gets so worked up about what I - a person who is the fringiest of fringe in Hollywood - have to say.

17. I have more action figures than someone of my age should. But they are all really cool action figures, I swear.

18. I've never seen It's a Wonderful Life.

19. Since moving to Hollywood, I've never uttered the phrase "It's a Wonderful Life."

20. On the one day in between health insurance providers, I tripped over my own pajamas (while I was wearing them) and bruised my knee.

21. My decision to move to Hollywood occurred on a beach in Cabo San Lucas while drinking beer and laying in a hammock tied to two palm trees. I should have stayed in that hammock. [Note: That is the actual hammock.]

22. I have a library book that's 14 years overdue. Microserfs isn't much of a book, so I'd like to think I'm doing that library a favor.

23. Now that I know what goes into a production, it's a lot harder to watch TV just for entertainment. That's a bummer.

24. I'm gonna end up having the same thing for breakfast, lunch and dinner today. Perhaps I should go grocery shopping.

25. There are not 25 things about me worth knowing.


Anonymous said...

reading your blog makes me feel better about myself.
i kid. but seriously... i realize that i'm not the only one struggling as much as i am in the entertainment industry. also it's nice to see someone else who still is themself and not trying to be someone else to try and "make it to the top".

Anonymous said...

And you had to post a link to quite possibly the most overplayed video/song of all time--one that if played in a strip club might actually cause my boner to disappear.

Temp X, you are a bad, bad person.

Anonymous said...

In Cold Blood has been made several times

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