I must admit I was a little bummed that Getting To Know Your "Hollywood Friends" (post date: July 25, 2008) never became all the rage. Was it because I didn't post my responses? Well, this time I did. May this time it'll become huge.
If I learned one thing from watching The Arsenio Hall Show (other than to not wear light blue suits), "If at first your joke doesn't succeed, just keep retelling it until they laugh out of pity. A laugh is a laugh."
1. What time did you get to work this morning?
N/A. 7:57 a.m. and so far no calls from my Pimps.
2. Coffee, Diet Coke or Red Bull?
Decaf with extra sugar.
3. What side of "the Business" do you work in?
My Pimps focus on the studio side because those gigs pay more. I go where they put me.
4. Did you have breakfast at home or did you wait to get "Meeting Leftovers"?
I had cereal for my past 4 meals. So I'm not sure how to answer that.
5. How many WPM can you type?
40 with 97% accuracy (I look at the keys).
6. What were your goals when you moved to Los Angeles?
Learn to surf (failed). Get to "know" Paris Hilton (pending). Write and get paid for it.
7. How many times a day do you wonder if moving to Hollywood was the right decision?
Twice an hour while I'm awake. Once an hour while I'm asleep.
8. Which do you dislike most: rolling calls, Xeroxing or getting your boss lunch?
Getting my boss lunch -- especially during the summer. Unintentional sweating is annoying.
9. Does you boss know how to pronounce your last name?
When I had a boss, No. Now that I'm a Temp, they just point at me and say "Hey you!"
10. Have you ever had to do anything illegal for your boss?
Yes. Nothing nearly as illegal as some friends have (picking up their cocaine! Falsifying government records!).
11. Which websites do you waste the most time on while at work?
Hollywood Temp Diaries (natch), Defamer, YouTube (for this video)
12. What's the worst excuse you've heard for not getting a job?
We think you'll be bored and quit within 2 weeks.
13. How many hours have you worked since Monday morning?
14. How many hours sleep have you gotten since Monday morning?
15. Have you ever taken anti-anxiety medication because of your job?
Yes. That's one of the reasons I quit. The other reason is I didn't want to go to Pelican Bay for homicide.
16. On average, do you make more or less than $11 per hour?
If I make $20,000 this year and there are 2,000 work hours in a year. Wait. I can do this. How many times does...move the zero...carry the one...the denominator is...CRAP! LESS! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! What's California's minimum wage?
17. Who do you think could pick programming better -- Ben Silverman or a trained Chicken?
The chicken will get its own show on NBC, thus solving both problems.
18. Fill in the blank, "My job requires the skills and intellect of a ___-grade student."
Fourth or perhaps Third. Yeah. Third.
19. If you don't catch a break in 2 more years, will you give up and try a new/different career?
Yes. I'm not much for this "vow of poverty" thing.
20. Will you tell your friends about the Hollywood Temp Diaries (www.tempdiaries.com)?
No. It's not terribly interesting. The proprietor is a self-absorbed twit who is simply using the site to catch the attention of an agent. It has nothing to do with any desire to educate or inform other Barnacles on the Good Ship Hollywood. Hollywood Phony. I bet that nose isn't real either.