Friday, September 5, 2008

"And now you know the REST of the story."

I know what you're thinking because I think it myself. If temping offers the worst of both worlds -- low pay and limited intellectual stimulation -- and you can't find full-time assistant gig (no thanks to the "unnegotiations" between SAG & AMPTP) why not work in another industry for a while? Why not make a couple bucks, prevent brain from atrophy and rejoin once things get better? Perhaps it's blind optimism that my breakthrough moment is just around the corner. Perhaps it's dogged persistence driven by a desire to do something I've wanted since I was 12. Perhaps it's hope that reality shows are a fad like the Pet Rock or Republicans (hey-o!).

The truth is it's all of these. But what seals the deal is what follows. The job posting below is not a joke, parody or figment of my imagination. It's an actual listing for something I'm qualified to do (I had a career prior to temping. Of course that suggests temping is a career. Eeek! Even my interior monologue is losing its mind.). If I give up on writing, this is what I have to look forward to.

Senior Director of Corporate Media Relations, Public Relations; Financial Communications at global leader in pressure-sensitive technology and self-adhesive solutions. [Yup. It's marketing tape and post-it notes.] This person will be responsible for developing and executing strategic media relations ["Buy tape because it's...err...tape."], public relations ["No horses were killed in the making of this tape. I bet the glue factory wishes it could say that."] and financial communications [I can't argue here. The company is worth as much as General Motors.] for this highly successful global industrial/consumer products corporation [but could be replaced by a paperclip]. This professional will develop and execute focused media relations programs including: development of editorial angles [100 unknown uses for tape: #63 Suspenders for your pants. #41 Easier than shoelaces. #26 Will hold your side view mirror, no thanks to that 'Hit and Run' jerk.] targeting key national and international business [el tape, le tape], consumer and trade publications [Key publications include Converting Magazine and Food Logistics].
I know. Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. Damn.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If you're a writer, it doesn't matter what you DO for a living, just as long as you're able to keep writing.

Dr. Peter Venkman: You're always so concerned about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk!

Dr Ray Stantz: Do you know how much a patent clerk earns?

Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college! You don't know what it's like out there!

I've WORKED in the private sector. They expect RESULTS.

(Excerpted from the Tao of Ghostbusters)

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