The truth is it's all of these. But what seals the deal is what follows. The job posting below is not a joke, parody or figment of my imagination. It's an actual listing for something I'm qualified to do (I had a career prior to temping. Of course that suggests temping is a career. Eeek! Even my interior monologue is losing its mind.). If I give up on writing, this is what I have to look forward to.
Senior Director of Corporate Media Relations, Public Relations; Financial Communications at global leader in pressure-sensitive technology and self-adhesive solutions. [Yup. It's marketing tape and post-it notes.] This person will be responsible for developing and executing strategic media relations ["Buy tape because it's...err...tape."], public relations ["No horses were killed in the making of this tape. I bet the glue factory wishes it could say that."] and financial communications [I can't argue here. The company is worth as much as General Motors.] for this highly successful global industrial/consumer products corporation [but could be replaced by a paperclip]. This professional will develop and execute focused media relations programs including: development of editorial angles [100 unknown uses for tape: #63 Suspenders for your pants. #41 Easier than shoelaces. #26 Will hold your side view mirror, no thanks to that 'Hit and Run' jerk.] targeting key national and international business [el tape, le tape], consumer and trade publications [Key publications include Converting Magazine and Food Logistics].I know. Damned if you do. Damned if you don't. Damn.