- Must have thick skin - I'm sure I've said this before but how about being less of an asshole instead of such a request. It's even worse when it's on an internship posting. No pay to get yelled at? No thanks. But if you must apply, mail a chunk of skin (I recommend chicken or duck skin) with your resume. It's sure to impress.
- Send a headshot - The E.E.O.C. prohibits not hiring someone based on their sex, race, national origin, religion, age or disability. But hotness? Well, that's fair game. Consider sending a photo of a former Dynasty star and the woman who is #1387th in the line of succession to the British throne - Catherine Oxenberg. The exec won't recognize her, but he'll recognize that she's good looking. So you'll at least get called in for an interview.
- Benefits after three months - In the past, I've attempted to time my illness and injuries. For example, when I wanted to get out of my Bar Mitzvah, I prayed for laryngitis to hit on that exact day. It didn't work then and it doesn't work now. You can't force illness to wait until Day 91 of your job. If only companies realized that the sooner they paid for health insurance the sooner they could work you to death.
|Toronto isn't in the U.S.|
- Must own a laptop - Listen Scrooge McDuck, you're already way underpaying for the position and now you want the employee to supplement your IT costs? Nope. Perhaps you should hire Jeopardy! champ Watson and combine the computer with the employee. Of course, Watson's surely smart enough to put you out of a job too.
- 5 days per week unpaid internship - On the plus side, I'm sure the executive will take the $25k that an employee would get and make a down payment on a Mercedes. So at least someone gets the money.
- Decent pay - Seriously? You describe your pay as "decent"?