Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I'm a Toldja! He's a Toldja! She's a Toldja! We're a Toldja! Wouldn't you like to be a Toldja too?

I do not endorse this product
Have you ever wanted to sound like a annoying hack journalist who sleeps through important news, makes editorial decisions that look like a conflict of interest or "breaks" 25-year old, frequently-cited news?  Well, now you can with your very own TOLDJA! machine. (see below)

Working in cooperation with Hollywood private investigator Anthony Pellicano, the Temp Diaries has secured this very rare recording of Deadline's Nikki Finke uttering her catch phrase "TOLDJA!"  And through this special Internet-only offer, you can have it for the low price of...wait for it...FREE!

Having your own "TOLDJA!" machine can be fun in so many ways.  You can use to...
  • Emphasize the end of every obvious sentence. (e.g., "Dancing with the Stars won the ratings last night.  TOLDJA!")
  • Warn your boss that Darling Nikki or some other comparable "journalist" is nearing.  Kind of like a tornado siren but not as pleasant sounding.
  • Scare off the pigeons that are congregating around your car.
  • Cure your nasty case of the hiccups.
  • Remove that pesky mildew that's building up in your shower.
  • Demonstrate your ability to be more goddamn annoying than anyone else.
Try it.  Download it. There are thousands of uses.  What's your favorite?

Warning:  Side effects may include abdominal pain, agitation, anxiety, constipation, decreased sex drive, diarrhea or loose stools, difficulty with ejaculation, dizziness, dry mouth, fatigue, gas, headache, decreased appetite, increased sweating, indigestion, insomnia, nausea, nervousness, rash, pain, sleepiness, sore throat, tingling or pins and needles, tremor, vision problems and vomiting.  But none of this should be surprise.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I was going down the sites I have to visit. I skipped "finke and the trying crew" and debated should I bite that bullet. I skipped to tmz but afterwards I thought I will go through post after post that shows finke needs to take a refresh journ 101 class in the hopes for good comments n not just wme2 spam. Then I had a thought, ask temp if he could let us know when finke is worth it. U r use to research, a good guy, and u are reading it anyway.
First it was good gossip backstory-little bitter, then lazy and mean at easy targets, now she considers herself "one of them" and the site make me feel dirty and wasteful reading it.

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