|Still not real Ari|
*Any similarity to any person living or dead is merely coincidental. No animals were harmed during the writing of this posting. Please don't sue me.
|Professional Combover: Do not attempt|
FAKE ARI EMANUEL RESPONDS: Listen jerkoff, this isn't my first go 'round at the bullshit rodeo. There's no way someone who just graduated from college makes a Yul Brynner reference...unless you're 50. And if that's the case, you might as well move right now because you as unhireable as Mary Kay Letourneau is at Fairfax High School. But let's assume you're actually in your early 20s. If that's the case, use what's left of your rapidly depleting follicles to your advantage. Lie on your your resume and say you were a Co-EP on According to Jim. HR will have to believe you because 1) you look older and more distinguished and 2) no one is dumb enough to lie about working on a show that bad.
If you decide to lop off your luscious locks, you'll be a shoo-in at ICM. They have more shaved heads per capita then the NBA. Plus they're a second tier agency, which is perfect for you.
|Pennsylvania 6-5000 please.|
FAKE ARI EMANUEL RESPONDS: Duh.