For every one Buddy Ackerman running around this town, there are probably ten who make Brick Tamland from Anchorman look like Stephen Hawking. The only problem is these other ten are unaware the hamster is off the treadmill. So these people scream, yell and go through the motions they believe they should. But what comes out is just amusing, frightening and more than a little dangerous.
How do I know these species exist? I've interviewed with them, I've read about them and, most recently, I worked for them. Following are actual examples of things done or said by executives at my former employer:
- Asked for directions to ICM from CAA. [Note to non-industry people: The two biggest agencies in town have been ACROSS THE STREET from each other for nearly three years.]
- Requested no fewer than 63 library books to review as background information for a one-page treatment due in three days.
- Explained, "My therapist said 'it sounds like you schedule work around your work outs.' And it's kinda true."
- Asked, "What's 3200 divided by 8?"
- In discussing aspirations to write and produce TV drama said, "I think the half hours are my sweet spot." [Note to non-industry people: Dramas are an hour. Half hour shows are comedies.]
- Wrote a treatment featuring a chase scene where the antagonist -- piloting a canoe -- narrowly escaped the long arm of the law. Yes, the paddler (a mere mortal) was faster than a speeding bullet.
The one thing I will say is Hollywood execs are smart enough to avoid scripts where they are made to look the fool. I still can't explain that.