Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Time Waster #5 -- HAL 9000 edition

I don't understand how computers work. And God knows I've tried. I've attempted to learn programming in BASIC, Pascal, Java, Perl, DOS and a few other dead languages (LOGO anyone?). My inability to understand new ways to have my computer say "Hello World" is what keeps my blog looking average and prevents me from securing a lucrative job as a System Administrator.

Since I can't figure out how to fix my computer, I call IT every time I get the Blue Screen of Death. When I reach "Randy" in the Bangalore call center, he always reminds me to re-start the computer. This usually solves whatever inexplicable problem for at least a few more hours.

This brings us to our newest time waster. One of my delightful fans suggested the following way to look busy.
"To create and then fix a problem with the computer."
So simple yet so complex. Brilliant really. One tip -- I recommend setting up a Rube Goldberg-type contraption that requires 35 steps to turn your computer OFF, wait five seconds then then turn it ON.

If you have tips or ideas, please submit them and share with your fellow cogs. They'll appreciate the help.

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