Thursday, December 10, 2009

Point/Counter Point: Conveyor Belt of Love is a Good Idea

Welcome to the newest feature from the Hollywood Temp Diaries -- Point/Counter Point.

It doesn't take much to be considered a genius in Hollywood. All you need are lucky genetics, a good personality and a cute face. So I've gathered the only two I could find who fit this bill -- Dog X and Sophie D.L. Garza. They are both purebreds* ala Shiloh Jolie Pitt, are extremely charming when they're not sleeping and their faces, well...

The first topic for Point/Counter Point comes courtesy of one of my loyal readers. ABC just greenlit a new dating show -- Conveyor Belt of Love -- a program best described as The Bachelorette meets America's Got Talent. The question is:

Do we need another dating show?

: YES! I can't wait to watch Conveyor Belt of Love. The concept of 30 men being paraded past five eligible women like California Roll at a sushi-go-round is the perfect next step in dating programming. It caters to American's desire for immediate gratification, a good looking soul mate and a chance to be on any network other than NBC. Plus, I prefer shows that aren't loaded down with complexities like story, characters and dialog. I'd love to be one of the women, although they probably wouldn't pick me due to my stumpy physique and low-grade astigmatism. Bring on the hunks!

DOG X: NO! Shame on you. Conveyor Belt of Love is the bologna of TV programming. You take all the leftovers parts, jam them together, give it a cute name and market the hell out of it. And then there's the relationship component. The Bachelor and Bachelorette have aired a combined 17 seasons. Do you know how many have resulted in successful relationships? One! I've humped legs longer than some of these people have dated.

But what's worse, the concept is unoriginal. Even the name Conveyor Belt of Love reeks of me-too programming. Or perhaps ABC execs never heard of Rock of Love, Shot of Love, Flavor of Love, Chains of Love, Daisy of Love, Age of Love and Real Chance of Love. Was the widow Cobain unavailable for Courtney of Love? What about getting Martin Fry from the 80's band ABC and title the show Look of Love? Just imagine the synergies. Plus he's got nothing else going on, unless you count the tour he's on with Berlin, Wang Chung and Cutting Crew.

*Note to PETA: They were both rescues, so please leave me alone.

1 comment:

Dan Hoger said...

How about "Who Wants To Marry An Aspiring Writer?"

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