Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Having fun while getting even with your boss

[NOTE: I do not condone nor encourage any of this behavior. It's wrong and potentially dangerous. That said, it's also kinda funny.]

People often ask me, "What's working in Hollywood like? Are the people all that bad?"

The truth is -- Yes.

As I've said before, I had a career prior to moving to Hollywood. So I've worked for many an asshole in different industries. It's just there's a special kind of asshole in Hollywood. Let me explain:

If a Wall Street asshole with a Wharton JD/MBA screws something up (e.g., sub-prime loans, Long-Term Capital Management), the stock market takes a dive and people lose billions of dollars. Naturally, their job is very stressful and they can sometimes be jerks. This is not to excuse such behavior, but it's at least understandable.

If a doctor with an M.D. from Johns Hopkins screws something up during open-heart surgery someone could die. This is not to excuse for such behavior, but it's at least understandable.

If a Hollywood exec screws up, a B-list celeb (think Sean William Scott) might not get the Xbox 360 in his double banger so he can blow off steam between scenes of his next great cinematic romp Flying Aces [Logline: "A rag-tag team of Lawn Dart throwers rise from nowhere to take on the world champs." Paul Rudd and Jim Parsons are attached to play the champs.]

That's it. No one dies. No one loses billions of dollars. The economy doesn't collapse. Temp X doesn't go on unemployment. But that won't stop your average Hollywood execs from screaming at you should you mention you need to leave 15 minutes early because you found out your shower blew up and your apartment is flooded.

This is why Hollywood is so fascinating. People hate working for assholes. But no one ever just quits because it's so hard to break in. But we do exact revenge, sometimes in very creative ways.

This needless preamble brings us to the first installment (hopefully not the last) of "How I got even with my asshole boss." One of my loyal readers offered the following...

"[I] used to wash one boss's dishes in the toilet when she pissed me off...which was almost every day...the assistant who took over when I left continued the practice."

I'd love to get more of these. If you have stories, please sent them to TempX@tempdiaries.com. Like everything, confidentiality is paramount. But I'm realistic. So if this is the end of this series, it was fun while it lasted.

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