Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Is rhinoplasty ok?

Only in Hollywood can an effort to make a family friendly movie (or whatever Disney's motive is) become what sounds like a try-out for Perfect 10 magazine. Following is an actual casting request for wenches for Pirates of the Caribbean 4:

Beautiful Female Fit Models. Must be 5'7-5'8, Size 4 or 6 - NO BIGGER OR SMALLER. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. MUST have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants. This is a show and tell of costumes with the director and the producers. Plan on an entire day of trying on clothes and being photographed.

Professional Dancers who are Swimmers. Females ONLY. Age 18-30. All ethnicities. YOU MUST have an extensive dance/swimming resume. We will be shooting in Hawaii.

That said, it's a lot better that the earlier draft:

Pervy old white men (ages 45-54) who aren't getting any from their wife, seek young, impressionable and desperate women to leer at. Will use the convenient excuse of casting a major motion picture so it doesn't feel so lecherous. Please, please have nice titties. None of this Pam Anderson stuff. If I wanted that, I'd go Crazy Horse or Cheetah's. Be prepared to take your top off for no particular reason. Did I mention that you need to have nice titties?

Honesty isn't the best policy in a state with "no-fault" divorce laws and communal property.

1 comment:

Femme Fatale et Noire said...

HA! I like your wording better. It's more honest. You should add "no real talent necessary."

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