Thursday, December 18, 2008

Love and Hate Mail -- Volume 3

With increased readership apparently comes increased venom. And rather than blame the executives for coming up with bad ideas, politicians for killing the economy or their parents for some sort of Freudian issue, fans of the Hollywood Temp Diaries yell at me. How am I the asshole? I need instructions on how to roll calls.

Letter #1: Hey, you're an NU alum? Shitty newsletter represent!

Temp X responds: After 4 years in Evanston, 45 classes, 2 degrees, a GPA in majors of 3.1 and 3.5, lots of beer and one fantastic impersonation of the late Vladamir Nabakov -- I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Are you sure you didn't go to the cooking school up the street?

Letter #2: Your blog is possibly he most useful thing on the internet for people who are starting out in the business. Thank you.

Temp X responds: If you keep working at it, you can be as successful as I am -- a Temp.

Letter #3 (Re: "Hollywood Dictionary -- Part 3"): The Black List (notice slight spelling difference) is explicitly not a list of the "best" - at most it's the "most well liked" unproduced (not unsigned) scripts.

Temp X responds: You are correct because unfortunately the "best" scripts in Hollywood are usually those that go "unproduced." This reminds me of a quote I heard earlier in the year, "Give me a pound. Lock it down. Break the pickle. Tickle, Tickle!" Now that's quality Hollywood material.

Letter #4 (Re: "More crap that might be coming soon to a theater near you...") :
You make $20,000 per year and we're supposed to think you're wise in your choice of Obama over McCain? Do you even know what you're talking about, other than repeating what you hear everyone else say? Which is essentially nothing?

Temp X responds: While I am reluctant to discus politics on a site dedicated to trying to help the underemployed find jobs or at least stomach the one they're in, I'll indulge just this once (Obama winning makes this slightly more enjoyable too). But to address your question, I believe what you're suggesting is there's a correlation between wealth and knowledge. I beg to differ. Look at George Bush. He's got tons of money and he's dumb as shit.

And as a special bonus, the following is a response to a pitch I sent to select reporters. The title of the email was "It's Layoff Season and the Hollywood Temp Diaries is here to Help." The content you may have seen on other sites. Well it didn't take long for The Hollywood Reporter to respond...

THR responds: As of December 4, 2008 I am no longer employed at The Hollywood Reporter. If you have THR-related questions, please call the L.A. office at 323-525-2000. If you would like to contact me personally, my email is [email redacted]. Thanks!


Anonymous said...

This is off topic, but not for nothing, I am so sick of seeing "thick skinned" in UTA assistant descriptions. Can you imagine any other field basically including brow beating in the job description?

Anonymous said...

you say everything I want to say but dont have the time to organize my thoughts on line as you have - bravo to you!

Anonymous said...

in this crazy biz we call's a nice place to make fun of it all and laugh at ourselves :-)

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