Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Remake Tuesday

In a town where "remakes" are as common as Pinkberry imitators or child actors named Dakota, it's only fitting that Temp X offer up a remake too. So today I offer you a remake of yesterday's posting.

Like any good remake (e.g., Gus Van Sant's Psycho), it needs a little something to let the audience know you didn't just make an exact copy. Oh wait. Psycho matched the original shot-for-shot. Perhaps a better example is The Invasion. And since no one saw it ($15 million domestic gross on an $80 million budget), I can make reference to the Blimp fight at the end and you'll just have to believe me.

Temp X recently interviewed with [Company Name Redacted]. The interview went well and I got a call on Friday to schedule a second round. I was giddy. One more round and I could be a fully-fledged assistant. Could this really be the end of Temp X?

No.

Temp X received a rejection voicemail on Monday.
While it's nice that they bothered to send one (they're in the minority), I suppose I was hoping for a better explanation given that I'd already scheduled the next round. Since no one in Hollywood says what they mean (except me), I suppose I'll have to interpret the voicemail for them. So here it goes...
Hi this is [Name Redacted] from [Company Redacted]. I'm calling regarding your interview tomorrow (thank God you're not answering the phone!). As it turns out we found a candidate (this one was holding) today and given the urgency in filling this position (the boss is going through withdrawal and it's getting ugly), we've extended an offer and this person accepted (meaning you're outta luck). Please call me to confirm that you received this message (I won't pick up so as to avoid an awkward situation). Best of luck in your job search.
A typical Hollywood remake -- add a little more suspense and make a slightly happier ending (the "Best of Luck" line) and it'll play well in the "Fly-over" states.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

You could have a franchise on your hands.

Anonymous said...

You should call them back and have a conversation filled with awkward silences. Just to see.

Anonymous said...

the only thing worse than your rejection letter/vm posts is how you choose to express your dejection of the rejection. take it as best you can, but no need to ejaculate your pain across the blogosphere.

oh, and i work at the place from yesterday's post. i sit next to the guy who wrote that letter. he's figured out who you are. of course, it's not like this company hasn't been pissed off enough by people posting things online (i.e. nikki finke). glad we kept your resume, temp

Anonymous said...

To the previous anonymous commenter: Isn't that the point of Temp X's blog? It's his humorous skewering of this ridiculous town. If you don't like it, don't read it everyday. And maybe if more than one person thinks your company sucks, it might actually, you know, SUCK. Ever think of that?

Way to miss the humor in this blog, Jackhole.

Anonymous said...

Interesting you didn't get the "although we were impressed with your credentials... and/or we literary had hundreds of applicants and you were amongst the best."

Anonymous said...

eeer I meant literally...I think I've been writing literary manager too much!

Anonymous said...

To the person who sits next to the "guy who wrote that letter" --

It's uppity little f*ckers like you that willingly enable the decline of industry credibility. Show a little solidarity and stop pretending you aren't as insignificant as the next asshole.

And when you're done with that, go get me a coffee, douchebag.

Anonymous said...

it's a rejection letter. how does that decline industry credibility? and what's the point of skewering it? you applied for a job and you weren't the best. that's not like being sent across town for something that's not there. that sucks. rejection is life. grow up people

Anonymous said...

Temp X posted an extremely generic rejection with no name on a humor blog. Assuming that you have actually correctly identified your applicant, are you actually upset? If so, you need to chill out. Why would you care?

Anonymous said...

The letter has nothing to do with industry cred. I was talking about the PERSON who wrote the comment. And don't tell people how to react to rejection, that's obnoxious and doesn't get the point of this blog.

Anonymous said...

Be grateful you got a call. I showed up for an interview once where the guy (the soon to be departing assistant) made me wait 20 minutes then when he brought me into the office the first thing out of his mouth was we filled the position yesterday but I still wanted to meet you because we may have future openings. I wanted to yell and you won't be around to tell anyone about me so what's the point. Although we had a lovely conversation I would have rather not spent the gas money to drive from the Valley to Beverly Hills.

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