Friday, August 22, 2008

Love & Hate Mail

Four score and seven postings ago (+/- 5) Temp X brought forth to the Internet, a new Blog, conceived in Liberty (and perhaps a bit of drunkenness), and dedicated to the proposition that all Hollywood Temps are created equal.

And then I started to receive hate mail. So there went that plan.

It's been a busy week at the Hollywood Temp Diaries. The postings that documented my various interview rejections drew a slew of responses (if you missed them, they ran Monday and Tuesday). To those who offer support, I thank you. To those who wish me to fail, let me remind you -- I'm a college grad who is now a Temp. When I work, I get $12/hr. I don't get paid vacation. The printer/fax/copier gets more respect than I do. So if you're wishing me ill, you're too late. I'm already there.

Here are some of the highlights. Can't we all just get along?

Letter #1
the only thing worse than your rejection letter/vm posts is how you choose to express your dejection of the rejection. take it as best you can, but no need to ejaculate your pain across the blogosphere.

oh, and i work at the place from yesterday's post. i sit next to the guy who wrote that letter. he's figured out who you are. of course, it's not like this company hasn't been pissed off enough by people posting things online (i.e. nikki finke). glad we kept your resume, temp
Temp X reply
I know who you are too. You're the capitalization- and punctuation-challenged poet -- e e cummings. What an honor that you're reading my stuff! Since you know who I am, I would appreciate a poem for when my birthday comes around -- but not in your usual sonnet style. That's so predictable.

Letter #2

To the previous anonymous commenter: Isn't that the point of Temp X's blog? It's his humorous skewering of this ridiculous town. If you don't like it, don't read it everyday. And maybe if more than one person thinks your company sucks, it might actually, you know, SUCK. Ever think of that?

Way to miss the humor in this blog, Jackhole.
Temp X reply
Wrong! The point of this blog is it's a lot cheaper than therapy. Also, please don't encourage people not to read this. It'll lower my advertising rates.

Letter #3

To the person who sits next to the "guy who wrote that letter" --

It's uppity little f*ckers like you that willingly enable the decline of industry credibility. Show a little solidarity and stop pretending you aren't as insignificant as the next asshole.

And when you're done with that, go get me a coffee, douchebag.
Temp X reply
Clearly this person had too much coffee already. And as for industry credibility, Hollywood "jumped that shark" sometime between the release of Glitter and From Justin to Kelly.

Letter #4

I look forward to when Temp X is CEO of a major studio. I am certain he will personally take rejected candidates out for a Jamba juice (with the obligatory wheat-grass shot) and give them the straight dope. "Look, dude. You have zero personality. Your breath stinks. And we really wanted to go with someone who was a 36C. But thanks for applying!"
Temp X reply
I too look forward to the day when I'm CEO of a major studio. At the rate I'm going, that should be in about the year 2352, which will coincide with the year Sumner Redstone retires from Viacom.

Letter #5
i love temp x. seriously. we need more people like you working next to us.
Temp X reply
I love me too. That's Hollywood for you, a bunch of narcissists in need of constant validation from people they don't know. You can count me among them.


Anonymous said...

Easily your BEST blog entry yet! Keep the punches swinging. Fuck the dumbshits! Hate mail is a beautiful thing.

Anonymous said...

Love your blog, hate that UTA will probably attempt to take legal action if you don't take down the list. I'm sadly not kidding.

Anonymous said...

I was just spiteful and sweating from taking 50 lbs of wardrobe to the dry cleaners when I wrote letter #3. That was before the coffee. Which never came, thank you very much.

Anonymous said...

you're very welcome.

for the record, i wouldn't read this blog if i didn't love it, temp x. in hindsight, i overreacted, but there some truth - watch your back in this town.

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