Monday, August 18, 2008

Interpreting a Rejection Letter

Temp X recently interviewed with the production arm of a major network. The interview went well and there was no mention of being someone's "Bitch" or any "Bitch"-related product (unlike last week). And the best part, the interviewer said, "Clearly you're more than qualified. You can expect to come back for another interview."

I was giddy. One more round and I could be a fully-fledged assistant. Could this really be the end of Temp X?


Temp X received the a rejection email on Friday.
While it's nice that they bothered to send one (they're in the minority), I suppose I was hoping for a better explanation given the guarantee from the interviewer. Since no one in Hollywood says what they mean (except me), I suppose I'll have to interpret their email for them. So here it goes...

(No salutation as I'm cutting and pasting this from another email)

Thank you for your interest in the position (whatever position this is, as I'm cutting and pasting this from another email.)

After careful consideration (the other candidates were better looking, related or holding), we (even though you only interviewed with me, I am worthy of the Royal "We") have decided to go in a different direction ("We" consider you not to be a "candidate" but a "direction") and you are no longer being considered at this time (or any other time).

Please know that this was a very difficult decision (I agonized over this for...oh who am I kidding, I forgot your name during the interview), and that you were an extremely qualified and personable candidate (because using "direction" here would be grammatically incorrect).

We (I'm still a collective noun) will keep your resume on file (strictly as an EEOC and legal requirement) and contact you should another position in the department (whatever department this is, as "We're" cutting and pasting this from another email) opens up in the near future (never).

How close am I?


Anonymous said...

Quite impressive that they actually sent you a rejection letter. I've never seen one of those before.

They must really care.

Anonymous said...

I've had the same thing happen, where I've been told that I'm exactly what they are looking for, amazing, smart, blah blah blah, more smoke up my ass, and that I'm definitely coming back in for the next round, and received almost verbatim that same email/letter. The candidate who got the job was totally holding.

Anonymous said...

:sigh: I know that feeling all too well. Some places are even classy enough to send you a rejection letter via snail mail...complete with a real signature too.

I actually had the pleasure of going for a second interview (after the standard "you're perfect for this job" meet the exec on Monday) and at the second interview, I was told I was "in the top tier of candidates." My references gave me glowing reviews and I was invited to come back and shadow for 2 hours and "learn the ropes." Surely one would think I have the job (especially since I got a new haircut and everything) however one would be wrong...after the dreaded "we'll be in touch" I knew I was D.O.A, then the rejection letter/email came and sealed my fate.

Anonymous said...

I don't see why you're so bitter. Isn't that a much more humane approach than "You are not qualified/ a huge weirdo"?

Anonymous said...

I look forward to when Temp X is CEO of a major studio. I am certain he will personally take rejected candidates out for a Jamba juice (with the obligatory wheat-grass shot) and give them the straight dope. "Look, dude. You have zero personality. Your breath stinks. And we really wanted to go with someone who was a 36C. But thanks for applying!"

Leslie said...

i love temp x. seriously. we need more people like you working next to us.

MissNic said...

My inbox is packed full of these, sometimes I get them for jobs I don't even remember applying to. :/

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