Well, before every final copy, there's a rough draft. And my sources tell me that Kim was insistent she give it a go before her PR handlers cleaned it up and posted it.
Thanks to those same sources, I now have that draft combined with Kim's notes and the changes that became her final break-up manifesto.
This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to
make my publicist re-writewrite. I see all of the (what's the word when people like you?)support and I am so thankful for my sponsors, customers,fans, friends and family who are managing my careerhelping me through this highly-predictabledifficult time.
Do I have to keep writing? Can't I just do this on Twitter?
I am trying not to read all the different
(what's the word for that show the cute guy Brian Williams is on?)media reports but it’s hard not to see all the (what's the word for really, really bad?)negative ones. First and foreskinforemost, I married for ratings and because Ryan Seacrest told me tolove. I can’t believe I even have to (what did my daddy do for O.J.?)defend this. I would not have spent so much time on something just for a TV show (because I was busy doing...err...answer this later)! I share so much of my life on a "reality"reality show, that (what's a fancy word for thinking that'll make me sound smart)contemplating whether to even film my wedding for just $6 millionwas a tough decision to make but when they bumped it up to $12 million, I said 'ok', and maybe it turned out to not be the smartest decision because the ratings weren't what we'd hoped. But it’s who I am as we all saw in the x-rays of my bottom! We filmed Kourtney giving birth, ( Whatsherface? The tall one?) Khloe getting married, my porno with Ray J and his awesome penis, God damn, I miss that thing, break ups, make ups, money shots, our best moments and our worst moments. These were all real moments, as real as the nose on my face before I had it tweaked. (Make me sound real here, but still slightly above the losers who watch my show)That’s what makes us who we are. We share Reggie Bush with that slut Melissa Molinaro, we give and receive oral, we love Danilo Gallinariand we are open to every position!
('Who' or 'that'? Fuck it, no one has read this far anyway)that knows me knows that I’m hopelessa hopeless romantic! I love that $2 million ringwith all of my heart and soul. I want to televisea family and (the little thing that Kourtney has)babies and a "real"real life so badly that maybe I rushed in to something too soon , again the ratings for the wedding were less than the season premiere. Plus he's not even the best player on his team. I believed in love and the (stuff that happens when I'm sleeping. You know, where I wake up and I'm naked in Yankee Stadium with Derek Jeter and the Pope)dream of what I wanted so badly. I felt like I was on a (What's that thingy at Disneyland that rolls and coasts?)fast roller coaster and couldn’t get off (ha ha! I said 'get off')when now I know I probably should have. I got caught up with the hookahhoopla and the (Can I just blame the whole thing on E! here?)filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn’t know how to and didn’t want to disappoint a lot of people.
(What's the word when you're not lying about everything?)honest here and I hope you respect my (something that makes me sound like that female boxer chick Hilary Swank played, but without eating the tongue)courage because this isn’t easy to go through. But I do know basic maththat I have to follow my heart. I never had the (planning ahead thingy)intention of hurting anybody except maybe the tall guyand I accept full responsibility for my actions and decisions except for all the stuff that's making E! and Kohl's mad at me, and for taking everyone on this waste of timejourney with me. It just didn’t turn out to be the tooth fairyfairy tale I had so badly hoped for.
Fuckin' A. This is such a goddamn waste of time. I've got reservations at BOA for 7:30.
There are also
(stuff that happens on that show with the cute guy from 'Saved by the Bell')reports that I made millions of dollars off of the wedding. These reports are simply not true , it was closer to $18 millionand it makes me so sad to have to even Claritinclarify this. I’m so smiley facegrateful to everyone who took the time to come to my the thing we filmed in Montecitowedding and do it for scaleand I’ll be donating the money for all the gifts to some group of losersthe Dream Foundation. This means I get the tax write off and you don't.
I’m sorry if I have hurt anyone, but my dad
(Don't talk about the O.J. thingy here. People seem to think he might have done it.)always told me to follow my heart I believe now that I really am.
I'm having open auditions for my next boyfriend next week at the Beverly Hilton, Conference Room 2D. So if you're between the ages of 21-35 and have a net worth of at least $10 million, come on down. It's for my newest show, "Who wants to marry a Kardashian?"
P.S. Suck it Paris.