Friday, June 13, 2008

Stupid things happen all the time in Hollywood. Which one of these really happened?

[Thanks to Jane Doe for her story. If you want to submit your own, .]

1 -- Every assistant knows the drill when a client shows up for a meeting -- go to the lobby, greet them with their usual drink order and tell them it'll be a few minutes while the agent finishes sucking up to/berating/back-stabbing someone else (you don't tell them the last part, of course). But this executive has a specific set of instructions -- know each client's drink and MOST IMPORTANTLY serve it with your left hand. Left hand? The exec's logic is simple. If you hold the coffee in your right hand, it makes your palm sweaty. And on the off chance they offer a handshake, "I don't want my clients shaking your sweaty hand."

#2 -- Assistants like (well, don't LIKE "like," but HAVE TO "like") to go in to the office on weekends and catch up on a few things. The plus side -- the phone doesn't ring, you can listen to your tunes and most importantly, wear a t-shirt and jeans. Or can you? On one Saturday, this assistant donned a t-shirt from a movie that starred a high-profile ex-client. This wasn't a problem until a partner happened to pass by her desk. Not liking the reminder of the lost revenue (oh, did I mention it was his client?) he told the assistant to go home and to never let him see her wear that shirt again.

#3 -- After taking a day off to nurse a bad cold, this assistant returned to her desk, groggy and wishing she was still in bed. While sorting through everything from the previous day, her boss called. "How are you doing?" the boss asked with heartfelt concern. JUST KIDDING. The boss said nothing of the sort and began by berating the assistant for work the temp did. As the phone conversation continued, the assistant felt a cough coming on. Not wanting to miss any of the exec's instructions, the assistant said, "Excuse me," moved her headset out of the way and cleared her throat. The boss's response? "Oh my God, do you need to go home? Because I don't have the patience for this."


The masses have spoken and we have a TIE!!

Left-handed Coffee -- 44%
Get that Shirt Outta Here -- 11%
Stop Coughing, I can't Concentrate -- 44%

And the correct answer is...

#3 -- Stop Coughing, I can't Concentrate. You guys are starting to catch on (either that or Hollywood execs are voting?)

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