Friday, June 6, 2008

Stupid things happen all the time in Hollywood. Which one of these really happened?

#1 -- It's a cruel reality that Hollywood assistants sometimes don't control their own fate. Huh? You see when a Hollywood executive is let go (released, laid off, sacked, you get the point), that usually means the assistant is out of a job too. But layoffs beget one fun thing...the Going Away Party...or do they?

Recently a Hollywood exec's contract wasn't renewed (interpret as you will) and his assistant faced the same fate. At the exec's going away party, he gave a "Good Bye" speech and thanked everyone except his soon to be unemployed assistant. Not a hint. Not a mention. Nothing. If it's any consolation, the assistant does get to file for unemployment.

#2 -- Nothing's wrong with an agent who's a pet lover. It actually proves they have a human side. But it takes a special Hollywood exec to humanize a pet while simultaneously dehumanizing their assistant.

This high powered 10 percenter (great, now I'm talking like Variety. Ugh.) brought his cockatiel to work after a trip to the vet. The bird was free to roam around the office, finally nesting on the guest chair. This wasn't a problem until the agent called in the assistant to take dictation. The assistant, knowing this was going to take a while, asked if she could move the bird back so she could sit down. Annoyed at the this question, the agent responded, "The chair is taken. You CAN stand and write...can't you?" Turns out the assistant could, whether she wanted to or not.

#3 -- What's more American than fresh-faced youngsters selling Girl Scout Cookies? Samoas. Trefoils. Thin Mints. And we all know that parents sometimes help their kids sell boxes to their co-workers. But this studio exec took it to a new level when she sent her assistant to the commissary during lunch to boost sales. Since everyone knew who the assistant worked for, people realized it was a good career move to buy a few boxes. Well by the end of lunch, this assistant had orders for nearly 400 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies. No word on whether the assistant got a merit badge for this.


And the audience picked

Goodbye whatever your name is......28%

The bird is using that chair.....23%

Sell, sell, sell!!.....47%

And the correct answer is...

#1. Goodbye whatever your name is. Yep. It seems impossible for someone to be that rude, but don't forget, this is Hollywood.

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