Thursday, June 19, 2008

Live from the Tempies -- A musical number

The world longest award show (probably so long you forgot it was happening) continues with a little musical from West Side of LA Story. So without further adieu, here's "When You're a Temp."



BIFF
(spoken)
I love being an agent. Don't you? Why do something yourself when you have a Temp?

CHIP
(spoken)
Good point. Hey Temp! Get me a new Diet Coke. This one's too fizzy. And then for lunch I want...hey who said you could look at me?

TEMP X
(singing)
When you're a Temp,
You're a Temp all the way
From your first small pay check
Signed by CAA.

When you're a Temp,
They do what they can
And the agents abuse you
This really blows, man!

You're always alone
You're never respected
You're worked to the bone
You're really rejected!

You're stuck making coffee
With a capital C
They won't let you forget
Till they cart you away
When you're a Temp
You're forever
A TEMP!

BIFF
(spoken)
You think we can get that Temp to take out the trash?

CHIP
(spoken)
Yeah. But get him to balance it on his head.

BIFF
(spoken)
Oooh. That's good. And after that, have him wash your car!

CHIP
(spoken)
Yeah! First let's take a three-hour lunch at Katsuya.

TEMP X
(singing)
When you're a Temp,
You're the scum of the earth,
You're the low of the low,
And below afterbirth.

When you're a Temp,
You're the Biggest Los-er,
Worse than Caroline Rhea,
Worse than Helen Rop-er. (look it up!)

BIFF
(singing)
Some day they'll quit?
Or rise up and rebel?
Nah, those poor suckers, Temps
There's no chance in hell.

GROUP OF TEMPS
(singing)
That's what you think,
We're smart, not just slaves.
For Temps are still people
We'll get you one of these days.

We're here to write scripts
Or perhaps direct
We're all college grads
We de-mand respect.

Here come the Temps (Yeah!)
And we're gonna beat (Not really. Will you rep me? Read my script?)
Every last buggin' agent
At the whole buggin' street
On the whole!
Buggin'!
Ever!
Lovin'!
Street!



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