|Still not real Ari|
Today's posting is in lieu of the previously announced "Bullshitting" column.
Welcome to a special Administrative Professionals Week edition of Ask Fake Ari Emanuel.* Fake Ari will answer all of your questions because he's made it to the second highest level of Hollywood -- WME2. And who knows? One of these days CAA might just hire him as a floater. If you have any questions for Fake Ari, please send them to TempX@tempdiaries.com.
Now on to your question. I have two fucking words for you -- Riley Weston. But because you're too young and not smart enough to know who that is, I'll explain. Actually I only have 10 minutes until my Hyperbaric Oxygen Chamber Therapy and Infrared Body Wrap appointment, so I'll let Entertainment Weekly do it for me:
For 14 years, 32-year-old Riley Weston was just another struggling actress in Hollywood, going nowhere fast. Tired of waiting for the perfect part, she created it instead: teen writing prodigy on Felicity, The WB's hit about an 18-year-old college freshman. She aced the part, too, delivering an Oscar-worthy performance capable of fooling a powerful studio (Disney), a network, a talent agency (United Talent Agency), and numerous publications, including this one (she appeared on our It List last June).
But reality and fantasy collided on Oct. 15: A former friend snitched, apparently angered at all the attention Weston was getting — not to mention her two-year, $300,000 development deal from Disney Touchstone TV. Faster than you can say Milli Vanilli, the phenom was unmasked as a fake.
|Never rat on your |
friends and always
keep your mouth shut
I'll say this, if you're going to lie, either use a series of small, imperceptible lies or go all in. That is if you go small, just add a few months to your past job. Or add responsibilities your supervisor had. Something within the realm of possibility. Or, go balls out and tell people you were Sidney Lumet's personal assistant for the last six years. Since he's dead, who could they possibly call for a reference? And for fuck's sake, don't have a LinkedIn account with your real info.
And now my little numbnut, I have one last tidbit of advice...