Ground Turkey -- $2.99/lb
Multi-grain English Muffins -- $1.69/half dozen
WHY THIS MEAL WORKS?
After a 10-hour work day and an L.A. traffic jam, the last thing I wanted to do was spend what was left of my day cooking dinner. I would have done drive through, but the only place that's on my route home is Burger King. And their food sucks. Plus I knew my fixins for turkey burgers were a day or two away from going bad. So I figured I'd prepare another simple, semi-satisfying meal and park my butt in front of the air conditioner.
I'm going to offer the briefest of cooking instructions because I was surprised when my college roommate told me he didn't know how to make a burger. That said, he tested a tomato's freshness like he was about to throw a four-seam fastball. But on the off chance you're in this same boat, take the meat, ball it, flatten it, fry it, flip it, fry it and eat it.
Turkey, regardless of its form, always means Thanksgiving to me. And as an aspiring TV writer, I have so much to be thankful for, like The Mrs. Les Moonves Show (a.k.a. Big Brother 12), America's Got Useless Talent and Yelling at Crying, Fat People with Jillian. Because without these shows, I'd have to own up to my lack of Hollywood accomplishments. At least I can say "It's reality TV's fault" that I can't get a writer's assistant gig. I also learned that my cooking skills haven't improved any since junior high.
HOW DOES THIS HELP ME IN HOLLYWOOD?
When my career goes nowhere, I can fall back on my deftness at making round pieces of meat and frying them until they reach an optimum temperature. "Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order please?" With any luck, I'll get to serve them to my college roommate who is making gobs of money as a lawyer in Chicago.