Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Vote Temp X for Variety's "10 Assistants to Watch"

I offer so much and ask so little.  That's why I put out this post today.  Variety is compiling its list of 10 Assistants to Watch.  Needless to say, I decided I should be one of these people.  But to achieve this honor and long-overdue recognition, I need your help.  So here's the plan...
    Artist's rendering
  1. Below is a letter I've thoughtfully written on your behalf.  Just copy and paste it into an email and send it to Peter Caranicas (Deputy Editor, Variety) -  peter.caranicas@variety.com and BCC me at tempx@tempdiaries.com.  
Actually that's the plan.  Just one step - send Peter a letter trumpeting my importance to Hollywood.  Now, as if you needed one, there's an incentive to participate.  Should I achieve Top 10 status, I will select at random a winning voter from all who nominated me (thus the BCC part).  That winner will be rewarded for his/her efforts with a One-of-a-Kind Hollywood Temp Diaries beer stein.  You can then use this mug for whatever one might use a beer stein for.  The deadline is October 22.

I thank you in advance for your participation.  Now get to voting.  Here's the letter...

Dear Peter-

I would like to nominate Temp X from the Hollywood Temp Diaries (http://www.tempdiaries.com) for one of Variety's "10 Assistants To Watch."  I've thought long and hard about my decision and I was in no way encouraged to do so by any sort giveaway that could be perceived as "vote buying."  It would be very "Un-Hollywood" to do anything unethical or sell out.  Now as for the reasons for my nomination:
  • Temp X tells it like it really is in the Hollywood trenches, which is the most comforting thing someone in my position can ask for.
  • Temp X has helped many people get jobs and many more get interviews by routinely sending out job postings.  How can you dislike a guy who does that?
  • Temp X compiles the Brown List of Most-Liked and Least-Liked Hollywood Executives.  The Brown List is (sadly) a more valuable document than my college diploma.
  • Temp X was called a "Must-read" by Creative Screenwriting (May/June 2009) and "The definition of meaningless" by Deadline Hollywood.  Both of them are compliments and one of them must be right.
  • Temp X makes me laugh with such features as Another Day in Hollywood, Ask Fake Ari Emanuel and Celebs: They're just like us except better looking and dumber.  Additionally, The Bennie Awards recognizing the Worst in Television is the best award show ever. 
  • Temp X sponsored teams for the Hollywood Assistant Beer Pong Tournament.  My employer didn't even do that.
  • Temp X does all of this while temping around town and making less than $20,000 a year.
For these reasons and countless more, Temp X deserves inclusion in your 10 Assistants to Watch.


P.S.  I'm sure he's sorry about the time he posted instructions on bypassing Variety's pay wall.  Hopefully you can look past that.

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