Wednesday, September 28, 2011

And now, a few minutes with your very own Andy Rooney

The curmudgeonly Andy Rooney was finally booted off his 60 Minutes perch yesterday.  The man whose first commentary was about how overrated the wheel is made his last regular commentary at the ripe old age of 92.

But fans of the Eyebrowed One need not fear.  For your friends at the Hollywood Temp Diaries have created a Mad Lib so you can experience the wit, wisdom and whatever else of Mr. Rooney's pithy observances any time you want.


If there's one thing that really sticks in my craw, it's (PLURAL NOUN #1). 

Back in WWII, I was a writer for Stars and Stripes.  It was (ADJECTIVE #1) time.  We (VERB IN PAST TENSE #1) our own food.  We (VERB IN PAST TENSE #2) our own typewriters.  Heck, one time I even (VERB IN PAST TENSE #3) the cat that seemed to wander by our barracks at night. And she would meow until we (VERB IN PAST TENSE #4) her.  But what I never thought to myself, "Geez.  What I could really use now is a (PLURAL NOUN #1)."

The other day I was (GERUND) on my couch while watching my favorite episode of Arthur Godfrey's Talent Scouts. I'm guessing it was one I (VERB IN PAST TENSE #5) on.  And a (COLOR) banjo player came on and performed (SONG).  It gave me goose pimples.  I probably haven't had that sort of sensation in (NUMBER) years.  But it reminded me of how (ADJECTIVE #2) things used to be.  And I like that.

(PLURAL NOUN #1) is everything that's wrong with society today.  We made it through the Civil Rights movement, the Cold War and the (AMERICAN PRESIDENT) without the benefit of (PLURAL NOUN #1).  And the U.S. is in pretty (ADJECTIVE #3) shape as a result.  I might be a fuddy-duddy for saying this, but I'd rather (VERB) a (NOUN) than even consider buying, renting or even testing out a (PLURAL NOUN #1).

Of course if I was a little more (ADJECTIVE #4), maybe I'd change my mind.

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