When "Grumpy Cat: The Movie" just isn't enough

Hollywood is at it again. This time Internet meme Grumpy Cat appears to be on the cusp of getting a movie deal.  This is not a joke.  Hollywood execs are that lazy and/or stupid when it comes to film making that the best they can come up with is a retread of Garfield, which is essentially Eeyore from  Winnie the Pooh.

Anyway, as long as nincompoop studios are lining up for animal movies, I have a few of my own I'd like to recommend.  Of course, if any of these get greenlit, I want upfront fees and points on the back end.

Chicken Car - The crazy antics of a crime-fighting poultrymobile.
Think Knight Rider with beaks.

Goldfish - A murder mystery in which Hercule Poirot must figure out which
identical twin fish killed and ate his crispy, cheddar-flavored brother.

 

Mexican Dog - No logline needed