Friday, June 10, 2011

Summer Friday

It's Summer Friday at my job.  For those unfamiliar with this concept, here's a quick refresher.  Every Friday between Memorial Day and Labor Day, many entertainment firms work half-days (if at all) so people can enjoy a longer weekend.  This is a nice perk for anyone on salary.  But for hourly folks like myself, well we only get paid when we show up.  So I'm here today making my $103 (after taxes) and sitting around with nothing to do.

For the rest of today, I will keep you updated with the various things I'm doing to pass the time.  Check back often for updates...

  • 9:30 a.m. -- I showed up on time.  Not sure why.  Boss isn't here.  Ate leftover Subway (meatball sub) and fixed a cup of cheap coffee.  
  • 9:37 a.m. -- Since I had no emails to respond to and no work to do, I wandered around the office aimlessly to burn off a few calories.
  • 10:01 a.m. -- Farted.
  • 10:02 a.m. -- Left my desk for a minute to let the smell dissipate.
  • 10:03 a.m. -- Checked my work email again.  Still nothing.  Decided to figure out which came first, the chicken or the egg.
  • 10:36 a.m. -- Figured out the answer to the Chicken-Egg question.  So obvious, I'm surprised no one thought of it earlier.  I'll give you a hint, you need to use Planck's Constant.
  • 10:42 a.m. -- Came up with today's post idea.
  • 10:58 a.m. -- Looked at the clock.  Only another 7 1/2 hours to go.
  • 11:05 a.m. -- Can't believe seven minutes has gone by so quickly.  I'll never be able to recapture this time again.  Getting philosophical before noon can only lead to bad things.  What's the sound of one hand clapping?
  • 11:20 a.m. -- Quick work related task.  Took two phone calls to resolve.  Probably could have done it in one call, but decided to spread it out to kill more time.
  • 11:26 a.m. -- Bathroom break.  Might go to a different floor just to see if their toilets are any different than ours.  Variety is the spice of life.
  • 11:30 a.m. -- Dropped the kids off at the pool.  Apparently this is a popular time to do so as two of the three stalls were occupied.
  • 11:32 a.m. -- Did the double flush.
  • 11:49 a.m. -- Decided to see how much of Atlas Shrugged I could type into the label maker before running out of tape or crashing the memory.  Got as far as "Pleas for dimes were so frequent in the streets these days..."  Realized that was too appropriate.
  • 12:11 p.m. -- Got the green light from boss to take off early if I wanted to.  Can't decide if I want the extra $50 for staying here or not.  Being paid hourly sucks. 
  • 12:16 p.m. -- Building security just left.  Time to find things to steal. 
  • 12:28 p.m. -- Time to pay my internet bill.  Brushing up on my Hindi before I call. 
  • 12:32 p.m. -- Whoops.  I just oprima-ed numero dos.  This could take a while.
  • 12:34 p.m. -- Apparently my call is "muy importante" to AT&T.  That's nice to know.  Then why have they fucked up my bill four months in a row? 
  • 12:37 p.m. -- Customer service rep is Southern.  This could get ugly.  She just said "kicks off."  Not sure what she means or how that relates to DSL in any way.
  • 12:46 p.m. -- 16 minutes.  Issue resolved.  It was almost worth the $5.
  • 12:58 p.m. -- To leave or not to leave.  That is the question.
  • 1:07 p.m. -- Taking pix of my crotch with my cell phone.  Sending them to anyone who wants them.  Please send requests to
  • 1:22 p.m. -- Decided to stay for a little longer.  Not sure why.  I probably just don't want to go home and clean my apartment. 
  • 1:46 p.m. -- Lunch consists of crackers.  I need to make more money.
  • 2:05 p.m. -- Apparently I drool when I sleep.
  • 2:21 p.m. -- Either the building I work in has shoddy construction or my co-worker needs to lose weight.  Why do I say this?  The floor shakes when she walks by.
And then I got the go ahead to go home early...


Anonymous said...

It just so happens that the first year i work at this company is the also the first year they decide to stop summer friday hours!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious. Currently at an entertainment spot myself and I feel like you're in my damn brain. The phone has rang exactly twice since I got here at 9 AM. Once when my boss was calling in and the second time when another member of this office called to ask him a question. No one works on Friday in the summertime in Hollywood.

Anonymous said...

I have an idea, try to come up with ideas for future screenplays. This may be a great time to do what you came to Hollywood to do, and get paid for it. Also, themed alphabets are a good way to pass the time.

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