With a mild hangover enveloping me and a slight case of Wii Tennis elbow, I realize I need to work on tomorrow's blog. Well, the Golden Globes are tonight. I could do a "blog along." But everyone does them. So I've decided to blog along to all the blogs. Have I ever mentioned that the word "blog" is the most annoying words since "twelve."
8.02 a.m. -- I need to find all the blogs out there before the awards start. A cursory Google search reveals probably around 10. I'm sure there are many more. I bookmark all of them for easy access.
8.03 a.m. -- Brainstorm! Search of Google Blogs reveals a even more planned Golden Globe blogs (clearly not the most original of ideas) including Nikki Finke. I'm sure she'll be exploiting someone.
8.04 a.m. -- I go back to sleep.
[Later that day...]
5.19 p.m. -- Got a late start after playing five games of beach volleyball. For everyone who doesn't live in LA, that's what we do here in January.
5.20 p.m. -- I open browser windows for seven different live blogs. Since I can't watch the GGs live, Channel 13 is showing something called The Missing. Not sure what it's about, but it's sure to be as interesting as the Globes.
5.24 p.m. -- Nikki Finke starts off with with scatological references to Jim Carrey, Jack Nicholson and Christine Lahti (whoever she is). Apparently the prunes I sent Ms. Finke have taken hold.
5.27 p.m. -- I've never heard of the National Post, but they have a blogger named Brad Fernette. Apparently anyone can get invited to the Globes if they can laminate a business card. Brad is joined by the equally unknown Nathalie Atkinson, the National Post's fashion editor. As I have the fashion sense of an Eastern European in summer, I'll assume Nathalie knows what's she's talking about.
5.32 p.m. -- Only four postings into the blog and TV Addict's has demonstrated their version of quality control. It's spelled "Rumer" not "Rumor."
5.39 p.m. -- On to the Entertainment Weekly blog with Annie Barnett and Mandi (last name not given). Annie throws out the word "discush." I can only assume that results from having capped teeth too large for your mouth.
5.46 p.m. -- To Film.com's blog. I'm not a fan of a product name that generic. It's like naming your beer "Beer" or your network "National Broadcasting Company."
5.50 p.m. -- Film.com is hosted by the equally unknown Laramey Legel. He really enjoys asking questions as opposed to stating what's happening. Journalism 101 -- never use a question in your lede. I'm guessing Laramey missed that day at J-school, assuming he even went to it.
5.55 p.m. -- Wondering if Nikki's at home watching the NYC feed or if someone actually let her in the door in the Beverly Hilton press room.
6.00 p.m. -- Manny Pacquiao beats out January Jones, Mariska Hargitay, Kyra Sedgwick and Sally Field for the Best Pound-for-Pound Actress in a...oh wait...it's Anna Paquin. Nevermind.
6.06 p.m. -- DVR Playground has no postings an hour into the awards. I can only assume they find the awards as newsworthy as I do.
6.07 p.m. -- Oh, yes. the whole Anne Hathaway thing. Apparently the Golden Globes website said she won on Friday. Well what do you expect from Ernst and Young. They got duped on Bernie Madoff, so you probably shouldn't expect miracles from them.
6.09 p.m. -- Least interesting comment from a blog so far, "Nathalie Atkinson: Marisa Tomei is bringing back the evening blouse!" The National Post is gonna win a Pulitzer for this one. Entertainment Weekly's blog informs me they "love Brian Grazer's hair."
6.26 p.m. -- I'm only half way there?! Ugh. Did I mention that I saw Ali Larter as she was going to some Golden Globes pre-party last night. She would make a great Mrs. Temp X.
6.43 pm. -- I've finally learned something from Nikki Finke -- sadly it's just that Tom Brokaw was a presenter. Looks like NBC will do anything for a ratings point. Next year John Chancellor?
6.47 p.m. -- Laurence Fishburne and Glenn Close present for Best Comedy or Musical. Apparently foreigners can't tell the difference between the two? Probably left over from when Jerry Lewis was popular?
7.02 p.m. -- The West Coast feed of the "Red Carpet" show just started. I'm now "Live Blogging" about something that happened three hours ago. Can someone get me Dr. Emmett Brown?
7.04 p.m. -- Miley Cyrus vs. Brooke Burke on the red carpet in a battle of wits. Who wins? The first one to correctly spell "Red."
7.08 p.m. -- It's Lifetime Achievement Award time. Or as I like to call it, bathroom break.
7.30 p.m. -- Colin Farrell won for a movie no one has ever even heard of and made less than $8 million domestically.
7.39 p.m. -- Does anyone know which countries are considered "Foreign Press?" Is Freedonia represented?
7.49 p.m. -- Slander award winner for the night from Film.com -- "Colin (Farrell) accepts and may very well be on cocaine."
7.50 p.m. -- Kate Winslet wins again. Every blog I read can't help themselves from making Titanic jokes. Can't anyone write anything original these days?
7.52 p.m. -- I'm the King of the World!
7.54 p.m. -- Just discovered Defamer is doing a "live" West Coast version of the blog. Way to stay on top of the news guys.
8.19 p.m. -- The Globes conclude with Best Picture Drama for Slumdog Millionaire. Annie Barrett sums the whole evening up in one word "Annie: Coke!"
I couldn't agree more.