Please do not laugh. Do not chortle, chuckle or giggle. I will neither accept a snicker nor a guffaw. Even a polite "tee hee" will be frowned upon.
"So what did Temp X do?" you ask. "Sleeping your way to the top isn't that bad. People do it all the time."
I should be so lucky. No, I...I used...Facebook. And here's how...
Armed with a list of major network development executives, I searched the social networking site to see which of them had Facebook pages. For each network suit that did, I would send them an invitation to be my "friend" with a note saying:
"Being a temp in Hollywood sucks. Read my blog and feel better about yourself. http://www.tempdiaries.com."You're thinking, "That's a terrible idea. What could you possibly thing this would lead to?"
In my own warped world I believed the following would happen:
- With their curiosity piqued, the network executive would accept online friendship from someone named Temp X and immediately begin reading my blog. (Perfectly logical so far, right?)
- Three hours and 74 postings later, the executive decides they love my material/voice/grammar so much that they must have me.
- In whirlwind of agents, lawyers, lunches at Nobu and nosey calls from Variety, I get signed to a seven-figure development deal.
- I have a show on the air by Fall 2009.
- I show off at my high school reunion (and hope they don't know another alum is making a movie with Spielberg).
My non-Hollywood friends often ask me how long until I give up on my show biz aspirations. Two years? Three years? I respond by saying I'm not setting a time frame, but I'll know when it's time to give up. I fear I've put the first nail in the coffin of my Hollywood adventure.
One a side note, I recently received the largest one-week paycheck since moving here. Net total...$599.41.